Week 6

I just finished up Week 6 and as I said in my last post - this post will kick-off weekly posts about the progress of my pregnancy.  Let's hope we get WELL into the 35+ weeks, yes?!  It's so hard to envision that this early in the game...but I'm envisioning it with all my might!

I've seen a few of these weekly updates on other pregnancy blogs and will probably go ahead and copy them, but I'll also be throwing in my own information and updates that will (no surprise) probably contain a lot of practical information too.

How far along: 6 weeks tomorrow
What did baby do this week: Baby is the size of a sweet pea, lentil or black eyed pea.  It's about 1/4 inch long from crown to rump and the legs and arms are tiny protruding buds.  The nose, mouth, eyes and ears are beginning to take shape.  The lining of the placenta begins developing but the placenta will take over production of the hormones in week 12.  Baby's heart started beating last week and is beating about twice as fast as mine: 100-160 bpm!
Total weight gain: .2 pounds
Symptoms: Overall I feel great and nothing is really holding me back other than wanting to go to bed earlier.  But to summarize: extra tired, thirsty, frequent urination (though it’s also likely because I’m so thirsty, I’m drinking water all the time), extremely light cramping just on occasion, slight dizziness/light-headedness and perhaps a little more gas than usual.  No spotting at all this week.  It’s weird, I am ever-so-slightly nervous each time I wipe because I think I’d FREAK out if I saw red!  Early in the week I felt some very faint shooting pains in my breasts, but nothing since.  They look and feel exactly the same.  The weird itchy/numbness I felt in my upper thigh/butt (side effect from the progesterone injections) is still consistently annoying.  I think I just need to put up with it until we're done with the shots.
Queasy or sick: No, though I oddly almost want to feel a tiny bit so that I "feel more pregnant”.  I am continuing acupuncture and they have already started the foundation of treatment for morning sickness so this could be helping too.
Sleep: No trouble falling asleep but I wake up to pee at least 2-3 times, and sometimes have trouble falling back asleep after that.  My head is full of thoughts!

Best moment this week: Told one of my best friends over dinner early in the week (just showed her a pic I took of myself with the positive digital test saying “Pregnant” and told her that’s why I really wanted to see her for dinner.) Then yesterday told 2 other close friends - over dinner and dessert (met one for dinner and the other for dessert).  All these friends knew about our IVF so they weren't shocked, but it's still fun sharing the news!
Hardest part of the week: Waiting for our first ultrasound!  I was so paranoid, I emailed Dr. A and she suggested I come in for a 5 week (and a few days) ultrasound to help me feel better.  We wouldn’t be able to see the heartbeat, but might be able to see the sac and fetal pole.  I scheduled the ultrasound and then ultimately canceled it after reading some Babycenter.com boards and talking to a couple friends: EVERYONE feels this way as they wait for their first ultrasound.  And ladies who get pregnant naturally usually wait even longer (8-10 weeks!)  I can be patient for our 6 week ultrasound instead of rushing in and maybe not even feeling comforted by what little info I could get this early… Le Sigh.  Speaking of what you can see in your ultrasounds early in pregnancy: This page was great in explaining.
Looking forward to: Telling my parents!!  As soon as we get that first ultrasound under our belt!
Miss anything: um, sex (we've been abstaining since the transfer, until after the first ultrasound...)  And I miss just being able to pick whatever I want to eat off a menu.  Since I'm obviously new at being pregnant - I have to think/ponder/concentrate whenever I have to order something to see if I'm breaking any rules!!
Movement: Does gas count?
Food cravings: No, not really.
Happy or moody: Feel happy - but maybe a little emotional.  Like crying more than usual at touching things on TV.  At least it’s not over lame things!
Labor signs: Newp
Maternity clothes: Newp - can even still wear my skinny jeans.  Not much bloating.
Belly button in or out: In
Wedding rings on or off: On
Stretch marks: Newp

Waiting...is the hardest part

Learnings from the week:  I’ve decided that the hardest things to wait for when doing IVF and a frozen-embryo-transfer go in this order:

1. After transfer, waiting for pregnancy test - ok I can confirm that this is the hardest wait because you don’t know whether you’re pregnant or not and it’s just MADDENING.
2. Waiting for your first ultrasound appointment - especially if you don't have a lot of pregnancy symptoms.  You expect the worst since you barely feel pregnant!
3. Waiting for the daily emails after an egg retrieval - did our eggs fertilize? Are they expanding properly?  Will we get any high quality blastocysts?  Will they be chromosomally normal?!

Additional learnings - I had an appointment with my optometrist this week and disclosed my “situation”.  I was glad I did, because she said she would not be dilating my eyes.  In isolated cases they have found it to be an issue and she would also not dilate me if I was breastfeeding.  She also mentioned that the increased hormone levels can slightly impact your vision.  So while my eyes showed perhaps a slight change in prescription, she opted not to change anything.
Final Thoughts:  Happy and nervous and worrying all the time.  I guess this is an early introduction to parenthood, huh?

What comes next?

So where do we go from here - and by that I mean in terms of this blog...?  Obviously, I started this blog as an IVF Blog.  A way for me to share about our journey through IVF.  As I myself went through this journey, I was sometimes annoyed when I'd find an IVF blog that had turned into a pregnancy blog.  I was looking for IVF info!!  But of course we should be HAPPY when we discover an IVF blog which has turned into a pregnancy blog.  This means people are finding success and that's what all of us want!  But at the same time, sometimes it made finding the info I was looking for, difficult.

I've given this some thought and while obviously this is an IVF blog, I do still want to keep track of my pregnancy and since I already have the platform here - I'm going to continue to do so.  But in order to make the IVF info just as easy to find as the Pregnancy info - I'm going to be clear about calling out the IVF section versus the Pregnancy section.  I'll be tagging all the posts prior to this post with "IVF" and all posts after it with "Pregnancy".

Hopefully this will allow all you folks going through IVF to find that info.  And then as you find your own success with IVF, you can follow along into the pregnancy section!

Here's what I'll plan to do from here on out.  Each week I'll try to write a post about my pregnancy progress.  I'll title it "Week 7" or "Week 22" or what not and I'll write the post just as I hit the day that signifies I've finished that week (for example, when a woman says she's "at 6 weeks" it means she's completed 6 weeks of pregnancy, not about to start the 6th week.  "6w4d" means she's 3 days away from completing week 7 - took me a bit of thinking and looking at the calendar to get that all straight in my head...hey, I never said I was brilliant!)  I'm hoping with all my heart that I get up into the 35+ range as far as weeks go!!

Yesterday I hit 5 weeks, so I should be telling you about week 5 today, however since I've still been giving you my daily updates after our transfer - I'll skip it and start with week 6 next week.  That'll give me a week to figure out if I want to follow any specific format for my blog posts.

See you next week!!

Continued good news

We're continuing to get great news about our pregnancy and hope SO HARD that it keeps up.  We have every reason to believe it will since we've done to much to ensure a healthy embryo was transferred to my uterus (chromosomal testing to rule out abnormalities, selecting our 5AA blastocyst, etc.)  There's nothing wrong with this embryo and it is the highest quality we can have - and yet, we still worry.  *I* still worry.  I've basically conceded the fact that since I am pregnant, I will now worry FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.  'Cuz it's not like you stop worrying once your kids are born...it just continues...

But as of this moment - we don't have anything to worry about.  We've had great numbers from our 3 (yes, 3) hCG blood tests.

Our first hCG test - to confirm the pregnancy (tho we were pretty "confirmed" seeing those darkening lines on the home pregnancy tests each day!) was right where Dr. A wanted to see it: 76 mIU/mL.  I went back 2 days later, on Thursday, to check that it was close to doubling (they want to see the hCG levels roughly double every 48 hours just to know that the embryo is growing and progressing well).  It was ALMOST double at 128 mIU/mL.  In order to rest my worrying head, we decided to do a third blood test a couple days later (yesterday) and we were very happy to see that it had more than doubled to 300 mIU/mL!  WHEW!!!  The little bun in the oven is GROWING!

Tuesday 5/13 - First hCG check:
hCG: 76 mIU/ml
Progesterone: 65 ng/mL

Thursday 5/15 - Second hCG check:
hCG: 128 mIU/ml
Progesterone: 75.6 ng/mL

Saturday 5/17 - First hCG check:
hCG: 300 mIU/ml
Progesterone: 58 ng/mL

Dr. A was very happy to see this, as were we!  Out next step is the ultrasound/heartbeat appointment which is scheduled for the beginning of week 6 - just a little over a week away.  Oh boy, another milestone to worry about.  This one makes me especially nervous!  But we are constantly thinking positive thoughts and have a good feeling about all of this.  :)

Thinking positive thoughts!

This is probably the last post where I'll go through how I'm feeling on a daily basis.  I need to do some thinking about how or if I'll continue to write this blog since it's sort of no longer an IVF journey, but more of a pregnancy journey...stay tuned.

9 Days Post Transfer (4 weeks exactly):  
I've been very thirsty and more hungry than usual too.  I had some different looking brown spotting/discharge today.  Dr. A has said that as long as it's brown - I should monitor it, but if it's red they would want to check it out sooner.  Haven't had any major cramps or breast pain.  The progesterone shots are no big deal anymore - amazing how quickly you get used to something uncomfortable.  I tried the Clearblue Easy digital test again today (after getting a negative 2 days ago) and the word "Pregnant" showed up, which is just what I wanted for a photo op!

10 Days Post Transfer (4 weeks 1 day):
I lost another pound - so crazily enough, I'm down almost 5 pounds from where I was just before our transfer!  Dr. A said it's not a bad thing and also not unheard of in the first trimester.  I think for me, it's cuz I've been eating so healthily - mostly whole grains, protein, vegetables, drinking lots of water and eating very little sugar.  I hope the morning sickness doesn't kick in too hard or I might lose even more weight...

Since I still had pregnancy tests, I decided to keep checking them through this morning - just so I could see the line continue to darken.  It made me feel better about thinking my hCG levels were doubling.  Kinda fun to watch it get stronger and stronger too.  :)

The one from this morning (10 days post)
was the same color as the control line :)

Today was  my second blood test which I mentioned above, was 128 mIU/mL.  It wasn't QUITE double my first, but Dr. A was very happy with the rise and not concerned at all.  However she thought we might like to check one final time in a couple days to see it happen again.

11 Days Post Transfer (4 weeks 2 days):
I felt dizzy again this morning.  It was significant enough that I continued to notice it through the day, even as I was moving around (not just while sitting still).  I might even have felt faintly nauseous, but mostly dizzy.  Overall it's not bad but slightly noticeable.  This might be a little TMI but the brown spotting I've mentioned - it looked so weird, almost like black pepper or dirt (!?!!)  I've seen it off and on the last few days, so I asked Dr. A about it.  She said it's a side effect of the progesterone gel and totally normal.  Well that's...good, I guess?

12 Days Post Transfer (4 weeks 3 days):
Felt some slight cramping on/off most of the day.  Today was my 3rd blood test and we were happy to hear that my hCG levels had more than doubled from 2 days ago: 300 mIU/ml!!!  SO RELIEVED!  I'll continue to celebrate each little hurdle!  Grow little baby, GROW!!

Grow Baby, grow!!

13 Days Post Transfer (4 weeks 4 days) (today):
Felt pretty good overall today, just a little tired.  For the past few days (maybe 10 days after starting progesterone injections) I've noticed this weird "numb yet itchy" feeling on the surface of my skin, in the area where my butt and thigh meet - on the same side of my butt where we're doing the progesterone shots.  I was sure it was related and was wondering if Hubby could have hit a nerve or if it's a typical side effect of the progesterone in oil?  It's not painful, but more uncomfortable.  Dr. A said it is another one of those "joyful" PIO side effects and that I should not be alarmed.  She also said that if all looks good after our ultrasound next week I can probably stop the injections and stick with only the Crinone applicators!  OMG, I HOPE EVERYTHING LOOKS GOOD (for so much more than just the shots reason.)

I told my first friend tonight!!  It was so much fun even though it's so early, but she's one of my very best friends.  And yes, she was first, even before my parents!  But I want to want to wait until after our first ultrasound to tell my parents and with some of my girlfriends who have had children, I want to tell them sooner in order to get advice from their experiences.  She was so excited for me and of course more than happy to share her info.  :)

It's really happening!

We are pregnant... We are PREGNANT!  WE ARE PREGNANT!!  It's almost difficult to say the word "pregnant" out loud when talking to Hubby and the staff at Dr. A's office.  They are words I've (honestly) dreamt of saying since I was a very little girl, dragging baby doll after baby doll around with me.

Now I do want to acknowledge a couple things here: 1) we still have a very long road to maneuver with many potential speed bumps along the way.  I've said this before, but our journey will only truly be considered a success when we're holding our baby in our arms.  But we're a great way along in that journey.  2) I want to be cautious about how much I celebrate our success here because I know there are women reading this who have been trying far longer than we have or had far more disappointments than we've had to this point too, and I don't want to gloat since it may have seemed "easier" for us.  The infertility journey is completely different from couple to couple and I'm not unsympathetic to that.  I hope overall you get motivation and hope from my blog and not disappointment...

But we are allowed to celebrate a little, yes?!  :)

Today was my official blood test at Dr. A's office (also known as a "Beta hCG" test).  As I may have mentioned before, hCG (Human Chorionic Gonadotropin) is a hormone which the rudimentary placenta begins to secrete after an embryo implants into your uterus.  It can be detected in your urine or blood and gets higher and higher during the first trimester, before leveling off.  This hCG is what a home pregnancy test is looking for in your urine - that's called a qualitative hCG test.  A quantitative hCG test is the blood test at your doctor's office since it is measuring quantity of hCG.  It's called a “Beta” because the test actually measures a beta chain portion of the hCG hormone molecule.  So while the urine test just gives you a yes/no, the blood test will give you a number and that can tell us how promising the pregnancy is looking (a number too low could be a bad sign).  In general, at this stage, the hCG levels will double every 48-72 hours.  Here's an article that talks a bit about the levels during pregnancy.

I stopped by Dr. A's office this morning for my blood draw all happy and stress free (since I already had 3, count 'em, THREE gradually darkening lines on pregnancy tests up through this morning!)  I was feeling pretty confident that my hCG levels would be good since I've been seeing that line darken on the pregnancy tests each morning and that would mean the level is getting higher!

As I was chatting with Dr. A's staff member who was taking my blood, we had a glitch in our communication and after admitting to her that I'd cheated and been testing at home - she thought I said it "wasn't good".  But here I was smiling and happy so she must've been baffled.  After a few sighs and sad faces she asked me if I'd already gotten my period and I said "wait, What?!  No!  We're pregnant!" (OMG it's so weird saying that out loud!)  The smile that lit her face up was truly genuine and so refreshing to see since we haven't told anyone and don't plan to for at least a couple more weeks.  What a wonderful feeling!

So I got the numbers back in the afternoon:
hCG: 76 mIU/ml
Progesterone: 65 ng/mL

Dr. A called my hCG "PERFECT" and was very happy.  She wants this to be at least 15.  If it was 200 then it'd be twins (which is possible when transferring a single embryo because it CAN, in rare situations, split into identical twins.)  Progesterone continues to look great.  Whew!  Another hurdle down!

Next stop is the 2nd hCG blood test on Thursday (2 days from today) to ensure that the number is about doubling.  If all looks okay after that then she'll set me loose for a couple weeks before our first ultrasound.  Since we WILL continue to have a normal, uneventful pregnancy (please, please, please!) we'll continue to take all my current meds (estrogen, progesterone) and see Dr. A every couple weeks until week 10 of my pregnancy.  Then we would "graduate" and head off to an obstetrician who will see me through to childbirth.  In a weird way, I'll hate leaving Dr. A and her staff behind...

Back to the daily updates (which I'll probably continue through our 2nd blood test and then stop reporting on):

7 Days Post Transfer:
Felt pretty normal all morning, no dizziness or anything else for that matter.  Took another First Response Early Results and the line is getting darker!  But interestingly enough, I tried a Clearblue Easy digital (so that I could take a picture of the actual word “Pregnant”) and it is not yet registering a positive.  I’ll just hold onto the second one we have of those, until tomorrow.  I felt those faint, faint cramps again but they aren’t obvious.  I only notice them when I’m sitting still and kinda paying attention to my body.

8 Days Post Transfer (today):
Still feeling fine and mostly normal.  Still get the slight cramping but it’s not even as strong as menstrual cramps so they’re extremely manageable.  I do notice the occasional dizziness.  Haven’t noticed any additional spotting in the last 3 days.  The line on the pregnancy test is getting darker, still.  I've had this weird dry mouth feeling the last day.  Not sure what that's about.

By the way, the Progesterone shots are becoming totally manageable and routine.  When you do the shot in the upper, outer quadrant of your butt like you’re supposed to - it’s not a commonly used muscle so it barely hurts when I sit (just a tad when something actually makes contact) and doesn’t even really bother me to sleep lying on that side of my body.  Hubby massages the area after the shot each night which I think not only helps distribute the medicine he just administered, but also helps to massage the existing soreness.  Plus, I sit on a heating pad for 20 minutes after each shot.  I think these things are totally helping.  Plus, I think like with anything, you just get used to it.  We’ve done a week of the shots now...another 6 weeks?  Sure...anything for our little one.

I cheated

Today is Mother's Day - appropriate, yes?  It's also 6dp5dt (6 days past our 5 day transfer) and still 2 days away from my pregnancy blood test.  I came across this link which I felt gave me a solid argument that today would be a fine day to start testing at home, if I was going to.  So I decided to cheat and test early...  Any cheating I opt to do must be first thing in the morning since it's "first morning urine" which is the most concentrated and the most likely to have a presence of the hCG hormone.  The hCG (Human Chorionic Gonadotropin) is what a pregnancy test is searching for in order to show a positive.  So that means at 7:15am on a Sunday morning, when I woke up and had to pee - I had to test.  I was lying in bed wondering if I could fall back asleep instead of getting up, cuz I knew once I got up I'd have to commit myself to doing the pregnancy test.  Ahh, cheating is never easy!

Cheater, cheater!!

Perhaps my body was giving me hints, but as soon as I got out of bed and started walking I got so dizzy.  Almost light-headed.  Probably just needed more sleep, I thought... or perhaps this could have been the reason:

Very faint but it's there on all 3!!  6dp5dt!
Top: First Response Early Result
2 Bottom Ones: cheapies off Amazon

Yes folks... those are VERY faint positive pregnancy tests!!!!  WE ARE PREGNANT!!!

I read all over those IVF forums (the ones I cautiously take with a grain of salt, but they do still provide some level of info) that the best early detection pregnancy test is the First Response Early Result.  So I picked up a 3-pack yesterday just to be prepared.  I had left a dixie cup in the bathroom the night before in preparation for this groggy moment too.  I dipped the FRER test tip in for a few seconds, put the cap back on and let it sit on the the counter.  Some people say waiting the 3 minutes for the result takes FOREVER, but I think I kinda fell asleep for a little bit, so it was all good.

I was really not expecting to see anything since it's still pretty early for me to start testing.  My blood test isn't for another 2 days!  But after about 2 minutes I squinted and... OMG that looks like a second line!  As another minute or so passed the faint positive line definitely got (faintly) darker.  "Hey OMG I think this is a positive!!!"  I had a couple other random pregnancy tests around - cheap ones I'd ordered off Amazon months ago - even before we'd started seeing Dr. A.  I wasn't expecting these to show anything since they're so cheap but since I still had my (um) Dixie cup of pee I dipped each of those guys too.

Yay! A dip in the Dixie cup!

The lines are even fainter but I can definitely see lines!  (everything looks even the taddest bit darker in person, than in our photo).  This is really GREAT news because it means our hCG levels are high enough, this early - to trigger a positive test!  Even those cheapie tests!!  When I go in for my blood test on Tues, not only is it important to detect hCG, it's important for it to be over a certain level otherwise it could be a bad sign for the pregnancy.

Fortunately Hubby was already slightly awake and I went back to the bedroom to tell him.  After playfully reprimanding me for "cheating" he was definitely happy.  And then I dragged him into the bathroom to ask his opinion of my tests.  He concurred that there are definitely faint lines appearing so I felt much better having a little validation!

I emailed the above picture to Dr. A and asked if what I'm seeing is in fact what I want to be seeing?  There's no chance of a false positive, right?  She emailed me back quickly and told me Congratulations!!!  She said it's definitely a positive and was just as happy as I, that it is registering this early - a GREAT sign of things.

I'm to keep doing what I've been doing - no moving the blood test up or anything.  We'll get my hCG levels on Tuesday and hope that they're right where Dr. A wants to see them.

By the way - since I'm writing today (I was originally going to wait until tomorrow but got so excited about the news) I'll go ahead and tell you how I've been feeling:

6 Days Post Transfer:
Felt very dizzy and lightheaded this morning until I ate breakfast.  The dizziness was never as bad again, but came and went through the afternoon.  Cramping seems to have lessened, breasts are not noticeably sore and today was the first day I didn't see a bit of pink or brown when wiping.  To be honest, if I hadn't gotten the positive on my test this morning I'd be pretty bummed at the lack of symptoms and expecting the worst for Tuesday.

***Now I want to just drop in a word here for all you ladies FREAKING out about this time - if you test this early and still get a negative that DOES NOT mean you're not pregnant.  There are all sorts of false negatives just before your blood test - if just means that the hCG in your urine is not strong enough yet to register on a test.  DO NOT LOSE HOPE.

It's also important to note that I could take a home pregnancy test with no risk of false positives since this was a frozen embryo transfer - therefore I had NOT recently been given a trigger shot (which contains hCG).  If you are doing a fresh transfer (it'd be about 5-6 days after your egg retrieval) then you can very possibly get a false positive due to the hCG from your trigger shot still being in your system.***

OK, off my soapbox.  Happy Mother's (and future Mother's) Day to all of you!!

:) :) :)  Yay!!

Days 4 & 5 post transfer

So how's my bootie feeling?  Sore.  But perhaps not as bad as I was expecting.  Maybe it takes time to build up to the "maximum soreness" but after 3 nights of progesterone in oil shots in the same exact spot on my butt (will explain that later), it's not really any more sore than it was the first day.  Just a little tender - but very reasonable.

Just to be sure my progesterone levels went up with the addition of the progesterone injections, I ran into Dr. A’s office for a blood draw yesterday.  Remember, my progesterone levels were 3.8 ng/mL on Wednesday and she’d really like to see it around 10 for someone on just the Crinone (what I’d been on until that point.)  After adding the PIO shots for 2 nights, in addition to the Crinone - my levels were 41.5 ng/mL!!!!! (she wants to see levels at least 25 ng/mL for women on injections.)  So we nipped that in the bud quickly, didn’t we?

We’ll see how my butt feels as time goes on but for now we’re not rotating sides for the progesterone shots so that my pain will only be in one spot on my butt, instead of in multiple spots.  Since the shots really don’t hurt when they’re given (I ice the area before the shot) it’s not so bad.  And since I tend to be a left-side sleeper, this way I can still sleep on my side with no problems.

4 Days Post Transfer (4 days 'til blood test):
Still feeling totally normal which is great - but at the same time, a little disappointing.  I wish there was some kind of obvious sign that something (good!) is happening in my body.  I may have noticed some extremely slight cramping last night, this afternoon and even this evening but it might also have been my imagination.  Noticed a teeny bit more light brown when I wiped this afternoon and evening - I sure hope that’s a good thing?  I almost feel like I was getting more (super subtle) signs of things happening right after the transfer, but not so much now.

I totally kicked my cold’s butt by the way.  I’ve been getting so much sleep and taking so many vitamins - it really didn’t stand a chance.  Oddly enough I’ve lost about 3 pounds since last week.  I’ve been eating so healthily, only drinking water and eating very little sugar...I thought I was eating a lot of food overall, but I guess since it’s all GOOD food, I’m losing weight.  No complaints there!

5 Days Post Transfer (today): 
For the most part I’d say I’m feeling almost no symptoms which is a little annoying but also not terribly surprising.  Any nausea I had is gone (tho I also switched my vitamins to take them in the evening and was previously taking them in the morning on an empty stomach.)  However I’ve had some VERY slight cramping which, while it’s gotten a little more strong than what I noticed yesterday and the day before - is still ever so faint.  I've also been noticing it more frequently.  It's kind of like the tingly feeling you get when you’re ovulating and not QUITE so much like menstrual cramps.  I woke up in the middle of the night and had trouble falling back asleep and while I was lying there kept feeling those faint cramps.  Then off and on today too.  I don’t usually get cramps like that right before my period but who knows what’s going on with all these drugs and meds and stuff?  I wish I could say it’s a sign our little bun has settled in for the long “bake” but it could also be: my period coming or side effects from the progesterone.  It's a little bit maddening!

Maddening, I say!!!!!

I've still seen the very faint brown spotting - only when I wipe and it seems (sorry for the TMI) only when bits of the Crinone residue decide to clear my body.  So it's maybe twice a day, only 1 wipe and mixed in with the Crinone bits.

I did have a slightly weird experience tonight while eating dinner.  We had friends over and I had cooked some beautiful steaks (been eating mostly chicken this week so decided to go for a little red meat protein).  They were delicious and perfectly cooked (if I do say so myself!) but with about 3 bites left I suddenly felt like I couldn't eat any more.  Like - this is delicious but I just lost my desire to eat.  I powered through it since we had guests and that would look weird.  But it was certainly notable to me...

I'm probably going to start taking home pregnancy tests tomorrow morning.  I'm better when I have information and I'm very well aware that even if it's a negative test, I could still get a positive blood test so I won't be devastated if it's negative.  And for that matter, if they remain negative until the blood test at least I'll feel a little more prepared for the result on Tuesday - and hopefully will be pleasantly surprised!  It's a personal decision - testing before the blood test.  And I think I'll be better having a little bit more information than going in completely blind.  But that's just me - this tactic doesn't work for everyone.

One final picture to leave you with today... my mom and I met for lunch yesterday at a Chinese restaurant.  I'm not a very superstitious person and yet, when the fortune cookies came, I definitely felt a rush go through me like "I hope I get a fortune that gives me a good hint about what's going on with our little blastocyst."  I reached for 1 of the cookies and then instead of opening it, decided to be polite and handed it to my mom.  She was very excited at the fortune inside and I was too (while she does know about the IVF, she doesn't know about our transfer - we didn't want to have to give close friends/family bad news so decided to wait until we had good news to share).  Here's her fortune:

The cookie I opened was something lame about using my talents to help others.  OK let's think about this though - my mom would be THRILLED BEYOND BELIEF if we got pregnant so for her to get this fortune was also good news for me.  And perhaps...I'm using my "talents" in writing to help all of you?  So I'll keep on, keeping on.

Thinking as many happy thoughts as we can!!

And then there's the night we added shots

Today is 3dp5dt in the IVF World.  Known to non-IVF savvy folks as "3 days past 5 day transfer".  I have 5 more days until my pregnancy blood test.  The past few days have been good, but weird.  I think I understand now why this week can be tough - you sorta feel like you're in the Twilight Zone.  Like for the most part, you feel fine and normal, but you COULD be pregnant, but then life goes on as usual, but in a few short days you'll know whether to be ecstatic or devastated.  I wouldn't say this waiting is HARD so much as just weird.

But really, isn't all of IVF like the Twilight Zone?

So we've had a bit of good news and a couple bits of bad news.  Which do you want first?  OK, I'll pick for you - bad news:

• I have a cold
• We had to add progesterone injections

And the good news:

• I'm pretty sure I saw implantation spotting!

The cold:

Yesterday I was feeling a little dizzy and I had the faintest feeling in my sinuses/throat that I was coming down with something.  It wasn't significant, but I kept feeling like any minute I'd be sure I had a cold.  Well this morning I woke up and definitely have a cold.  But I think because of all the vitamins and supplements I'm on - my body is really holding it at bay.  It's like "cold lite".  Guessing it will dissipate quickly with all the rest I've been getting. 

"Newp, you're not getting through, cold!"

The implantation bleeding:
So I have to admit that I was a little excited when I woke up yesterday, went into the bathroom to pee and when I wiped I saw just a bit of light pink/light brown.  Since starting the Crinone over a week ago (actually since the last day of my period) I haven't seen even a tinge of any color when wiping.  So to suddenly see just the faintest bit of light pink/brown made me feel like it really could have been implantation bleeding.  I never saw it on my liner, but noticed it about 3 times when wiping yesterday (2dp5dt) morning-noon.  Then just a teensy bit this afternoon and evening (3dp5dt).  It's not so much spotting since I've been administering the Crinone twice a day.  (Sorry for the TMI but...) kinda more like little bits of the Crinone gel residue were tinted light brown - this residue tends to build up a bit and then come out in small bits/chunks.  So it can be hard to gauge when the bleeding might have happened but this is still within the appropriate time period!

I happened to email Dr. A about something else and mentioned that I saw this yesterday, and she told me two things.  1) yes, with the timing and description it definitely sounds like implantation bleeding 2) just to be sure it's not my lining starting to break down, she wanted me to pop in and check my progesterone levels, to make sure I'm absorbing enough from the Crinone.

This leads me to...

The shots:
So I ran over to Dr. A's office (I did not run - I'm still "taking it easy" so driving there was my first trip out of the house since my transfer on Monday).  They took a blood draw from me and I headed back home to sit on the couch.  I knew it wasn't great news when I got a call from Dr. A later that evening.  They only call when it's important...  She told me that there's nothing to worry about, but my progesterone level was lower that she wants it to be.  It was 3.8 ng/mL and she wanted it to be around 10 ng/mL.  Progesterone levels do fluctuate all day long so merely waiting 20 minutes could have given me a reading of 10 ng/mL.  Here's a graph which shows how levels fluctuate (for women on Crinone).   She also said it could be that my uterus is absorbing all of it and so it's not showing up in my blood, BUT it also could be that my body isn't absorbing it as well as she'd like,  so just to be 100% safe she wanted me to add the dreaded... (*dun dun dun*) progesterone-in-oil injections.

NO!  Anything but progesterone shots!!!

I think everyone knows someone who's done progesterone shots nightly for their entire first trimester.  They're administered in your butt muscle and apparently hurt like a MOFO (which of course stands for "man on fire outdoors".......... right?)  But even though they're so dreaded and painful it's so worth it in the end (it's ALL worth it in the end!)  So I was doing happy dances and obnoxious whooping and hollering when I learned that Dr. A would be putting me on the Crinone gel applicators instead of PIO shots.  Back in my face, huh?  Now I'm on both...  This road is never easy.

Progesterone is really important early in pregnancy.  It keeps the uterus from contracting and the lining from breaking down and essentially maintains the pregnancy until the 2nd trimester when the placenta takes over.  Women who get pregnant (the embryo implants) could lose the pregnancy if there is insufficient progesterone.  We don't want that.  We really don't want that!

So I'm glad we caught this early and I'm glad I have a hubby who is not squeamish.  I called him as soon as I knew so that he could get his head around More Shots before he just walked in the door and I showed him the 1.5" needle.

I learned a lot about PIO shots in the length of about 30 minutes searching online.  We are, of course, old pros at filling a syringe with medicine and switching needles, etc.  But I was most concerned about WHERE exactly that needle needed to go and how I could avoid (as much as possible) the painful next-day soreness which is the reason these shots are so dreaded.

Here are lots of videos for you.  This one was the most helpful for us but this one was also good to reference (at 0:24 and 1:00 for the butt diagrams).  This is the one Dr. A sent me.  All of these combined made us totally ready for the shot.  There are a few things to be aware of:

• the upper butt muscle is probably the least painful muscle to receive the shot since you don't use that muscle very much. The shot CAN go in your thigh, but it will hurt like an even bigger MOFO ("man on fire, etc...) since you use your thighs so much each day
• you must avoid your sciatic nerve which runs through your butt - if you hit it you can cause nerve damage, just stay in that upper-outer-quadrant and you'll be fine (my 2nd vid in the previous paragraph shows this best)
• ice the area for about 5 minutes before the shot and heat the area for about 20 minutes afterwards
• after giving the shot, try to massage the area to spread the medicine out as much as possible and if needed try a foam roller (or even a professional massage) to rub the soreness out as days go by

We survived the first one.  The shots in IVF are NEVER as bad in reality as they are in your head.  And of course, in a way I hope there are a lot more to come!

Yay! We survived!!

Now a quick recap on how I've been feeling each day after transfer:

1 Day Post Transfer:
Really felt no different than on transfer day.  I tried to move around a bit more than I did yesterday just to make sure my blood was circulating well.  And by move around I mean actually heating up my own food in the kitchen instead of having Hubby do it!  Watched a lot of TV, read a lot on my iPad and got a lot of hours of sleep.  I might have noticed a very faint soreness in my breasts in the evening.  Not when/if I pressed on them, but more like as I moved around.

2 Days Post Transfer:
In addition to the few wipes of (hopefully?) implantation bleeding I saw in the morning, I also felt just the SLIGHTEST bit nauseous.  Just in the morning and it went away after I ate something.  But now realizing that I have a cold I wonder if it isn't related...just a slightly messed up equilibrium.  No more breast soreness so perhaps that was nothing.

3 Days Post Transfer (today):
Again felt that ever so slight nausea this morning before eating.  But still attributing any dizziness/nausea/headache to my cold more than anything else.  Been feeling great overall - like just totally normal.  I noticed a teensy bit more spotting this afternoon and just before bed.  Less than yesterday (and yesterday was quite insignificant) but hopefully it IS significant!  I had a follow-up acupuncture appointment today and will have another one on Monday.  It's SO relaxing - I think I almost fall asleep in there!

Thanks for coming along with me on this crazy journey.  Please think happy thoughts for my bootie (and our little bun)!

The bun is in the oven

I mean - it's IN there but we don't know yet if it'll stay!  No positive pregnancy test yet...not for another week, in fact.  But our transfer was yesterday morning so there is technically a little, itsy-bitsy, teeny-tiny, microscopic bun in my oven and we just hope it stays there for 9 healthy months!

Please bake for a full 9 months little bun!!!

Relatively speaking the transfer was a piece of cake.  If you think about what we've gone through to get to this point it was almost shocking how easy it was.  Hubby kept needing clarification that I was not going to be under anesthesia again and even asked if I'd be "wheeled from acupuncture to the transfer"!!  (more on the acupuncture, shortly.)  But thankfully Hubby was wrong.  Easy-peasy and really at the end of the day, quite relaxing!

We were full steam ahead after my lining/blood check (a week ago today).  I'd been continuing the meds and supplements and feeling great overall.  I had my days planned full of activities right up until the day before transfer; full of meeting friends and parties and hiking.  I was feeling great overall.

When I was in for my initial consult with Dr. A (about 3 weeks ago) somehow acupuncture came up while we were chatting and she said that it has been shown to improve implantation success and infertility overall.  Since I knew my insurance covered it, I kinda figured why not go ahead and add it in?  A lot of fertility clinics have in-house acupuncture these days, and fortunately one of the higher rated infertility acupuncture businesses in our area is located out of the same fertility clinic where we did our retrievals and transfer!  No brainer!

I set up an acupuncture consult and my first session within the last week.  Eastern medicine is totally new to me and I can't lie that I've always been a little skeptical, but when it comes to the numbers they told me (65% additional success rate above what Dr. A had already given us for transfer, and an overall higher % success for the fertility clinic overall since they first brought in acupuncture), I'd say it's definitely worth a try.  Doing acupuncture at the fertility clinic makes transfer day super convenient since they want to do a session before and after the transfer and it's all there in the same location.

So here's how the day went:

In order to do an embryo transfer, the doctor needs your bladder full.  Not like SO-uncomfortable-OMG-I'm-gonna-pee-on-my-doctor full (yes, I've heard of that happening), but just full.  Like you don't quite feel like you need to pee, but you certainly could go.  They showed me on the ultrasound later how when the bladder is full you can see it (and therefore the doctor knows where exactly in the uterus the embryo should be placed - near the top).  If the bladder was not full, you would not see the bladder on the ultrasound.

The embryo goes near the top of the uterus

So I was required to drink 2 8-ounce glasses of water within 2 hours of my transfer.  I measured it into my water bottle that morning and started in on it with my morning meds.  Then I continued sipping on it throughout the morning until we left for the clinic.

Hubby and I got a check-in time (from Dr. A) of 10:45, with transfer at 11am.  So knowing that, I scheduled my acupuncture, which takes about half an hour, at 10am.  Like I mentioned, it's all in the same facility - just down different hallways - so it was super convenient.  Doing acupuncture beforehand was not only good for my internal body, but also greatly helped to calm my nerves.  It was, after all, a very exciting day, and I was pretty anxious!  After acupuncture I took a valium with a few more sips of my water.  They want you super relaxed during the procedure because adrenaline can cause the uterus to contract.

As we waited for them to usher us back from the waiting room I finished up the last of my water.  I was worried I'd FEEL like I needed to pee during the whole procedure, but that's not the case.  In fact I felt great - very relaxed after the valium and acupuncture.

We were taken to a very small room with one of those "comfortable" looking reclining medical chairs with the massive stirrups in front.  There was a a tiny table/tray for Dr. A, an ultrasound machine next to the chair, and then a door to the embryology lab literally a few feet from the machine.  I seriously think the room was no larger than a handicapped bathroom stall.

But it was not uncomfortable and it was small because it didn't need to be large - everyone was there to...well, honestly... work on me!

Before we got started, Dr. A handed us our (hopefully) first baby picture!!:

Our 5AA blast was just hatching out of its shell

Beautiful, isn't it?  Our little one looked so good, Dr. A has been giving us a 90% chance of pregnancy success for this transfer.  Gosh, I hope so...

And then we got started.

First, a nurse used the ultrasound (on my abdomen, not transvaginal) to check how full my bladder was.  She deemed me "good enough" and we called Dr. A into the room.  Dr. A inserted a speculum (the thing your Dr. inserts when you get a pap smear) to have visibility/access to my cervix.  After a quick cleaning with a warm solution, she inserted a catheter through my cervix (totally not painful) and got it in place in my uterus.  Then she pressed a doorbell next to the door to the embryology lab (I told you the room was small: she could still reach it!)  The only slightly awkward or perhaps even comical part was now: while we were waiting for the embryologist.  It takes them a few minutes because they're double, triple, and quadruple checking that the embryo we wanted transferred is the one they have in their straw to deliver.  So while we waited, with the nurse holding the ultrasound on my abdomen, Dr. A holding the catheter in my uterus, and Hubby and I both watching the ultrasound screen - we started some small talk... current TV shows, the weather's really been getting a lot nicer - do you have allergies?  yah...I do too, it's awful... OH thank God, the embryologist is back!

"do you have allergies with this nice weather?..."

The embryologist confirmed my name and which embryo we were transferring (it happened to be #2 from our second retrieval).  And we were ready to move forward again.  The embryologist had our embryo in a pipette/thin straw which I *think* she then placed through the catheter while Dr. A positioned.  To be honest, I wasn't watching what these women were doing because I was watching the screen.  We could totally see when the little tiny ball of fluid (containing our embryo) was deposited in its spot.  Amazing.  Dr. A even got a picture of it for us:

And that was it!!  The little bun was in the oven.  It took maybe 15 minutes.

I was asked to recline there for another 5 minutes - Dr. A stayed to answer any questions we had.  Then they had me get up to use the restroom and finally empty that bladder (but honestly, I hadn't even been noticing it.)

I returned to the acupuncture offices for another half hour of acupuncture and then we were on our way home!

Dr. A wanted me to take it easy for a couple days so Hubby and I both took yesterday and today off work.  He'll return to the office tomorrow and I'll continue working from home for the week.  SO LUCKY I can work with my manager to have this flexibility.

Hubby has been AMAZING.  We have reasonably traditional gender roles around our house (with me handling all the cooking, most of the laundry, bills, grocery shopping, even taking the garbage out) but he took over with gusto and has been wonderful about making sure I'm comfortable.

This is what yesterday (and most of today) looked like - literally.

Part of my "Eastern Medicine" instructions included eating the core of a pineapple, on an empty stomach, over the first 4 days after transfer (including the day of the transfer).  What I've read is that the core of the pineapple (not the meat) contains bromelain, an enzyme which can aid in implantation by acting as a blood thinner/anticoagulant and also acting as an anti-inflammatory agent.  My acupuncture Dr. said to slice a pineapple widthwise into 4 even segments, then use a cookie cutter to cut the core of the pineapple out and not to eat the meat (JUST the core - I cheated and ate a little meat too though cuz it was so yummy!)  I ate my first portion yesterday, after I came home from the transfer, had some this morning and will continue the next 2 days.  Don't eat any more pineapple after this...just the core for the first four days.  Supposedly it helps implantation!  Hey I love pineapple and if this can help - no brainer!

Yummy pineapple...core.

So far I can't say I'm feeling any different than usual overall.  I probably shouldn't have had beans for lunch yesterday cuz I started wondering if the gassy feeling I've had the last couple days has anything to do with our little embryo... *dumb move*  I was EXHAUSTED last night and slept for about 10 hours (rare for me, especially lately) but I HAD taken a valium yesterday too.  So I'm trying really hard not to get obsessive about these body quirks.

I found this article online about what happens in the body after a 3 day or 5 day embryo transfer.  I'll paste the 5-day version here:

Days Past 5-day Transfer	Embryo Development
one	The blastocyst begins to hatch out of its shell
two	The blastocyst continues to hatch out of its shell and begins to attach itself to the uterus
three	The blastocyst attaches deeper into the uterine lining, beginning implantation
four	Implantation continues
five	Implantation is complete, cells that will eventually become the placenta and fetus have begun to develop
six	Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) starts to enter the blood stream
seven	Fetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted
eight	Fetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted
nine	Levels of hCG are now high enough to detect a pregnancy

It seems a lot of IVF blogs reference this, so hopefully it's accurate.  Since our pregnancy blood test is scheduled for 8 days past transfer and I know our blastocyst was already hatching out of its shell when we transferred it, I believe I'm about a day ahead of this schedule.

I'll try to update more over the next few days.  Especially if I notice anything odd going on with my body.  Since I wasn't having any side effects from the Crinone (progesterone) before the transfer, I wouldn't expect to have any now - so any odd feelings I have before blood test day, may be worth sharing.  I might "break the rules" and do a home pregnancy test near the end of the weekend (the first day Dr. A thought my urine MIGHT (might) detect hCG to get a positive).  But we'll see if I can just remain patient enough...  In the meantime I've downloaded a couple nonfiction books to my Kindle to try and keep my mind off IVF, FET, hCG etc.  Hopefully they're good enough that I'll get absorbed in them and not constantly Google "what to expect 3dp5dt, 4dp5dt, 6dp5dt"...

Stick little bun! Stick!!

A word about Crinone

I thought I'd take a brief moment to talk about Crinone 8% (are 12 words I never thought I'd write or say, EVER.)

Since the evening of my lining/blood check last Tues, I've been adding Crinone 8% progesterone gel to my daily meds/supplements in preparation for my transfer tomorrow (and really, in preparation for pregnancy overall.)  As I mentioned in the previous post, progesterone is naturally occurring after ovulation and required in order to sustain a woman's pregnancy through about the first trimester - until the placenta takes over.  Since I did not ovulate (because of the meds Dr. A had me on) the Crinone is a supplement to produce progesterone.  It comes in an applicator - like a very thin tampon - that holds a small dosage of gel which you insert vaginally each morning and evening.  I was to start it this past week before the transfer and if when we get pregnant I'll need to continue it for the first trimester.

Before starting the Crinone, I'd read some pretty nasty side effects in all those (yes, sometimes questionable) online IVF forums.  I definitely take the stuff I read online with a grain of salt, but was still bummed at the side effects and annoyances I was reading about: fatigue, nausea, vomiting, sore breasts, constipation, frequent urination... but wait - hmmm aren't these all pregnancy symptoms?  I checked in with Dr. A on what I'd read and she responded with the exact same answer.  Of course these women are claiming to have these side effects - THEY'RE PREGNANT!

For the past week, while I have most certainly NOT been pregnant, I have not experienced a single one of these side effects.  Actually really none that I can tell from any of the meds/supplements I've been taking.  Perhaps a slight headache these last couple days, but my previous discussions with Dr. A make me think those are likely from my elevated estrogen levels right now.

The other annoyance I read about the Crinone is that the gel residue gets "backed up and feels like you have a tampon halfway in" (yes I actually read this a few times) and that women have to "clean themselves out with their finger".  um, UGH!  Two easy solutions for this (as told to me by Dr. A, and I'd also read the exact same suggestions online):

• only place the applicator about 1 1/2" up (the width of two fingers held perpendicular against the tip of the applicator).  Don't try to get it as far in there as you can (another benefit is you don't hit the cervix which can cause spotting/bleeding)
• don't administer the Crinone just before bed, I've been doing it when I get home from work in the evening so gravity is coating it downwards instead of it just sitting there all night while you sleep

Doing these 2 things will still totally allow the vagina to absorb all the progesterone needed.

I hope this helps you out and makes you feel a lot better about the Crinone you may need to become friendly with for a few months!  The only slight annoyances for me is I'm basically wearing a liner most of the day and night, and I do see some occasional "cottage cheese" looking gel build-up which, let's be honest - is NOTHING compared to nightly progesterone shots in the butt and not being able to sit down for 3 months... I'll take this ANY day!

Transfer is tomorrow - wish us luck!!