Baby

Throughout this whole process I continually held back in overly celebrating all the small victories - with the words that we'll only really be celebrating once we hold our baby in our arms.  Well, we are celebrating!!  Our baby was born on Sunday January 18, 2015 at 12:37pm and we have held our little one over and over and over again.  And it is absolutely wonderful.

I had planned to write out my whole birth story here, but having a newborn at home is (no surprise) proving to not allow me a SPECK of free time so I will unfortunately not be able to include that in this post.  But perhaps when things slow down (like when our child is in preschool!?) I'll be able to add the details.

Everything is perfect and wonderful and we are all home safe and sound.  The real journey now begins!

I don't really know what will come of this blog.  We do still have frozen embryos that I imagine we'll want to use in the next couple years, so perhaps I'll write more then.  Or even earlier?  But for now I'm pushing the pause button.  There's a baby here and I'm going to hold them in my arms now.  :)

Week 39

Wow - another week and another blog post.  As I write each of these last few week's of posts I wonder to myself if I'll get to write the next week's.  Well I only have 1 week left here so that gets me through 97.5% of the 40 weeks of pregnancy.  Amazing how far I've come!  And all along I was always SURE Baby was going to come early.  I was convinced like around 37-38 weeks.  Yet here I am passing the 39 week mark and head into the LAST WEEK OF PREGNANCY and still no major signs that this baby is going to make an appearance anytime soon!  But we know it's going to happen in the next week since my Dr. said I'll be induced before going over 40 weeks (due to the gestational diabetes - at 40 weeks the placenta will be aged more like 42 weeks).

They're on their way!!!

How far along: 39 weeks, 1 day
What did baby do this week:  Our baby is relaxing, making fists, dancing, rubbing it's head against my bladder, hiccuping and essentially freeloading.  There's no more major development going on.  In fact, the posters I see at Labor & Delivery when I go in for non-stress tests specifically say that babies shouldn't be induced for any non-medical reason until 39 weeks.  That means babies are GOOD TO GO after 39 weeks.  My baby is good to go.  Come ON with ya!!  As I've said the past few weeks - baby's weight and length will really vary by now from person to person.  Likely anywhere from 6.5-9.2 pounds and 19-21 inches from head to heel.  About the size of a small watermelon.  Finally - the watermelon comparison!!  Baby should have almost completely lost the vernix and lanugo that coated their skin.  Baby's digestive system is now capable of digesting liquid foods and they're peeing at regular intervals.  Skin should now be a pinkish color.
Total weight gain:  35 pounds.  I realize this is absolutely average (though the high end of average) but man is it hard to see on the scale!!!
Symptoms:  Carpal tunnel - ugh.  But I've gotten into a pretty decent routine of wearing my wrist braces at night, icing my wrists for 20 minutes at least once a day, not doing too much cooking or work with my hands...and it seems to maybe be helping.  At least I haven't been woken up with serious pain in the past few days.  There was 1 night maybe a week ago that I was up for 1.5 hours dealing with the pain/tingling in my hands.  Swelling in my feet/ankles/calves - nothing new.  Visiting the restroom literally almost every half hour.
Queasy or Sick:  Like other recent weeks - occasional nausea in the morning before I eat.
Sleep: Pretty good for the most part.  Sleeping almost all the time on my right side (left side hurts my jaw).  Sometimes I'll put the (very thin) pillow under my left side and lie on my back - this way my body is tilted a bit to the right so that all the weight of my belly isn't resting directly on my back.  And this is all working for me okay even thought I'm up maybe 2-3 times at night?
Best moment this week:  Overall feeling truly ready.  Baby is giving me so much time - I’m getting everything done, even the small things.  I even had time for a prenatal massage.  Usually when I get massages I go for the no frills and deep tissue kind.  I'm there to get worked on, not listen to zen music and sniff aromatherapy.  So a prenatal massage was a little different than what I'm used to - more Swedish style.  But it was super relaxing and I had requested that this massage therapist do some lymphatic drainage to help with the swelling in my arms and legs.  Lymphatic drainage is essentially very light rubbing from the largest muscle (for example, the thigh) towards the lymph nodes in the groin and armpit; which makes room for moving fluid built up in the smaller muscles (calves/ankles/feet).  So the light rubbing starts with the thigh muscle moving up, then calves moving up and feet/ankles moving up.  It made a lot of sense in theory - but I really didn't notice any difference afterwards.  Dang.
Hardest part of the week: Feeling a little more uncomfortable.  The baby feels even lower this week than in previous weeks (and the little one has been low for a while).  I really can't bend over much at all.  And if I'm sitting - I can't really sit upright; have to lean back.
Looking forward to:  Duh - obviously meeting our baby!!  I'm cautious about *wishing* for my pregnancy to be over just because I'm a little uncomfortable with the carpal tunnel, constipation, inability to bend over, blood sugar testing, etc.  Cuz I mean - how comfortable am I going to be in the next couple months as I heal from either a vaginal or Cesarean delivery?!  I'll tell you what I'm NOT looking forward to though: a change in my hair.  I complained at the beginning of my (and even mid) pregnancy that my hair wasn't all that different and I thought it was supposed to get thick and awesome.  Well I'd say in the last 2 months or maybe even this whole 3rd trimester, my hair has been awesome (for me).  I have almost the worst hair of anyone ever (thin, fine, dry at the ends, oily at the scalp, kinda wavy but not in a pretty way so I have to dry it every day, breaks easily).  But lately it's not oily so I've been washing it every other day (thank gawd cuz my hands go almost 100% numb as I blow-dry it); it's thicker, it sets into nice waves as I sleep so the non-wash days even look good!  It's still dry, but I can deal with that.  I'm DREADING the hair loss that I know is coming and then I'm so scared that my hair will be even worse after pregnancy than it was before!  Eeeks!!

I'll miss you, Hair...

Movement: I thought Baby was supposed to chill out as we got closer to delivery since there is SO LITTLE space in there.  But no.  I'm still feeling a lot of movement - it's definitely sporadic, but there are times I feel like I'm just getting pummeled from the inside out!
Food cravings: I'm still craving breakfast carbs like nothing else.  I mentioned this in Week 35 too but it hasn't gone away.  Forget about alcohol or sushi.  One of my first meals post-delivery will be pancakes, waffles, donuts, French toast, coffee cake, cinnamon rolls, muffins and scones.  Yes all of that at the same sitting.  ;)
Happy or moody:  Not really happy or moody but a word I continue to use: peaceful.  I'm thankful this little baby is not rushing us and I'm able to get so much done and feel prepared.  I really feel for my friends who were totally surprised by their babies arriving at 33, 34, 35 and 36 weeks.  Even my girlfriend whose baby arrived at 38 weeks caught her off-guard.  I think (hope) that I'll be able to handle labor and delivery better just feeling READY.
Labor signs: I guess not.  Definitely having some Braxton Hicks contractions, but nothing painful other than the lightning crotch I've mentioned.  This past week I started to get nervous about my water breaking (even though it's supposed to only be 10% of women) so I started wearing these GIGANTIC pads whenever I'm out in public.  I sit on a beach towel on the couch and in my office chair.  And while our mattress came with a waterproof cover, I also have one of those large rectangular pads (found in the incontinence aisle with the Depends and such) just under my sheet.  So I guess I'm ready for anything!
Belly button in or out:  Still in - don't think it's going to flatten and for sure won't turn into an outie.  But it's super small and I can see the back of it (is that a weird comment?)
Wedding rings on or off:  Wedding and engagement rings are off.  I've taken to wearing a ring I usually wear on the middle finger of my right hand, instead.  It fits even if my hands get a little swollen.  And sadly, my finger is ALMOST big enough to fit Hubby's wedding band!  Wow.
Stretch marks:  Yup - those few I found on the bottom side of my belly.  I can only see them in the mirror and if I lean back a little.  On either side of my belly.  I hope they don't get too bad.

Learnings from the week: I've been told numerous times to watch/read The Happiest Baby on the Block.  Apparently this guy is a "baby whisperer" and has some great techniques for soothing a crying/fussy baby.  We have the DVD and are planning to watch it tonight.  Hopefully we'll learn something before that baby arrives!
Final Thoughts:  I didn't think we were going to actually pack our bags until it was time to go to the hospital, but I started to worry about a situation where I go to my OB appt or a NST and they see something wrong and check me into the hospital right then and there.  Would I be able to direct Hubby to pack what I need?  Would he know WHICH black leggings to grab?  Um, doubtful.  So this past weekend we both packed our bags as best we could.  Fortunately it was easy to pack Baby's bag since none of that stuff will be needed prior to the hospital!  For all the items I couldn't pack (due to my needing them on a daily basis) I have them on a list and will just be sure to grab them when the time comes.  And some things I've packed, but am just wearing them out of the suitcase and then being sure to pack them back in there at the end of the day.  It's working.  We're ready!  :)

Week 38

Well this baby is DEFINITELY going to come within the next 2 weeks.  There will be no going over my due date since Dr said she won’t let me go past 40 weeks - maybe even a little sooner depending on how things progress.  This is primarily due to the gestational diabetes.  The placenta will start to age and not work as well after 40 weeks, so the baby is better outside than inside.  It's also possible we'll see signs of pre-eclampsia over the next couple weeks since I have the predisposition to high blood pressure (plus I've had a lot of additional swelling and am noticing that my BP, which has been very low all pregnancy, is starting to inch up ever so slightly.)  But at this stage of pregnancy - 38 weeks - I seriously feel like a bomb about to go off!  I've read, and my OB also confirmed that those dramatic scenes of a woman's water breaking at home (or at a store, bank, the office, in the car...) that we so often see in movies/TV is actually a very rare occurrence.  Water breaks in the hospital, after active labor has started, 85-90% of the time!  So it's kinda silly of me to feel like a bomb about to go off, but I do anyway.

I keep expecting for labor to start at any moment since my mom had me at 38 weeks (and I was her first).  She also had my sister early at around 37.5 weeks.  But on average, babies come naturally between 39-41 weeks.  My OB showed me a perfect bell curve where the top is directly over 40 weeks and it tapers perfectly on either side (the link I pasted is exactly what her chart looked like, tho I realize this specific one is 10 year old data and specific to Minnesota - but not much changes, you know?)

How far along: 38 weeks, 1 day
What did baby do this week:  Baby isn't doing a whole lot more than gaining weight and chillin' in there.  They are close to birth weight and length which could be (like I said last week) anywhere from 6.5-9 pounds and 19-20 inches head to heel.  This is roughly the size of a small pumpkin or celery bunch.  Their brain will continue to develop - but this happens throughout childhood regardless of whether they're in utero or not.  Baby is very proficient at making a fist and can grasp things very tightly.  Soon it will be our fingers!
Total weight gain: 33.2 pounds (I have to believe a lot of this weight gain in these last couple weeks is water since I've had so much swelling...)
Symptoms: Carpal tunnel - Aaargh!!!  I'm having trouble using my hands for anything.  They get stiff and hurt if I try to grip something, or if I read a book, look at a magazine, look at my phone or iPad (and am bending my wrists/elbows) then my fingers get tingly and numb.  It can be very bothersome at night for sure.  I have definite swelling in my calves, ankles, feet, arms and hands.  This might be the first week I can see it in my ankles/below my calves where I’d never really noticed it before (but it was probably there.)  I still get those shooting pains/pressure somewhere around my cervix.  I don't know if it's related to a contraction, but it stops me in my tracks.  I think most women call this "lightning crotch" and that is a GREAT explanation for it!  I'm honestly not sure if I've been having contractions - it's very hard to know if it's just Baby moving and pressing their body/butt against me, or if it's a contraction and that's why my belly gets firm (just in one spot).  The baby feels very low to me - I have a hard time leaning forward at all.  It’s hard to reach the bottom cabinets in the kitchen, and I seriously hate it when I drop something on the floor.  Even sitting at a dining table and sitting upright or leaning forward to eat my food is quite uncomfortable.  Ideally I’d like to sit on the couch with a tablecloth across my torso and my bowl of food on my belly and bring the spoon to my mouth.  Comfortable, yes.  Classy, absolutely not.  Do I care?  Kinda not really right now.  It’s just a couple more weeks, if that.

Carpal Tunnel I CURSE YOU!!!!

Queasy or Sick: Occasional nauseous feeling before I eat some mornings (maybe 2-3/week).  But it goes away fast and sometimes I can almost just ignore it.
Sleep:  Good nights and bad nights.  And the problems I'm having are because of the carpal tunnel and my jaw (which I mentioned last week).  I'll wake up to pee and can't fall back asleep because of the pain/tingling in my hands, and then throw in there this weird jaw pain that seems to only really bother me at night... *sigh*
Best moment this week:  Running errands: getting the car washed, grocery shopping, going to Starbucks, going to the mall with my mom.  There are a lot of other people out and about (since it was the week between Christmas and New Years) but I’m taking note that it could be the last time I get to do these things with ease.  I also watched a lot of old 80’s movies on Netflix and sat around with my feet up.  It’s been a great first full week of maternity leave!
Hardest part of the week: Seriously it remains the carpal tunnel which just makes doing things so annoying.  I got a new cell phone on Sunday (better camera to take pix of Baby with!) and would have to put it down repeatedly while I was playing with it/setting things like I want - because my hands were falling asleep and getting painful and tingly.
Looking forward to:  I mean obviously - delivery, and meeting our little baby.  But for other reasons too... I’m glad it took about 36-37 weeks for this swelling to really start bothering me (so many women have it much earlier) but I really hate it.  I had a very disappointing experience the other day when I went to put on some boots - my biggest, roomiest boots too.  I don’t wear them very frequently because they look a little “baggy” around the tops of my feet, ankles and calves.  Up until now I’ve been getting away with flip-flops, flats (those half-size-up Cole Haans I bought a month or two ago), slippers and Uggs, but it was raining so I wanted to wear boots.  I put on some thin socks and went to put the boots on - and not only could I barely get my foot into them, I couldn’t get them zipped up past my ankle.  MY ANKLE!!!  ARGH!!!!
Movement:  Yup - feels like Baby is stretching or rolling sometimes.  And it's kind of a trip when I feel movement low (like in my pelvis) and high (like at the top of my belly) at the same time - really gives me an idea of how big this little one is!  Baby was very stubborn at my non-stress test on Tuesday and WOULDN'T WAKE UP for at least 30-40 minutes (it started to get a little worrisome).  Ice water, buzzing and arriving right after my breakfast didn't seem to help for quite a while.  But then finally: movement and a quick pass of the test.  If Baby still hadn't woken up they would have sent me for an ultrasound...
Food cravings:  Actually healthy food sounds good right now I guess cuz of all the new years resolutions and magazine covers with "healthy clean lifestyles" being shoved at all of us.
Happy or moody:  I think I'm starting to get a little discouraged, especially with the carpal tunnel.  It's really becoming debilitating and keeping me from doing things I'd really like to do especially since these are the last days I'll have time to myself.  Thankfully I tend to get things done early and really have when it comes to planning for this baby, so there is nothing too pressing left to accomplish.  But I would love to do some cooking or baking (which I find very relaxing) however, I think it's making things worse in my hands.  I've also noticed my first morning blood pressure starting to creep up the last few days which is also worrying me a tad (tho my numbers still usually look good at the Dr/NSTs - but read on below for today's report).  I'm really getting ready for Baby to make that big appearance!

Labor signs:  Maybe some Braxton-Hicks contractions?  But I'm still not totally sure if that's what I'm feeling...
Belly button in or out:  Yup - still in.  Pretty sure it won't be changing much from where it's at right now.
Wedding rings on or off:  Sadly I had to stop wearing my engagement ring about a week ago.  It was just making me nervous to have it on because there were some evenings it was very hard to get off.  I was wearing my wedding band up until yesterday (I think it's a 1/4 or 1/2 size larger than my engagement ring) but decided that I'm no longer going to wear that anymore either since it was hard to get off last night.  *sigh*
Stretch marks:  Nothing new
Learnings from the week:  As of this morning I am 1cm dilated and 30% effaced.  Baby's head is very low, but it's not clear if they've "dropped" like I keep hearing people talk about.  This basically doesn't tell me a whole lot since I've read that many women can walk around dilated/effaced like this for a month or more.  But my Dr. did say that it is a good place to be if we have to induce in a couple weeks.
Like I mentioned, my BP has been climbing ever so slightly.  Not into a "high" range when I take it at home, but higher than it's been the last 38 weeks.  Today at my OB appt (just before my NST) it was coming in on the high side.  No protein in my urine, but since I was headed over there anyway, my OB decided to have the hospital do a blood draw to run a toxemia panel just to rule out pre-eclampsia.  Better to be safe than sorry.  My BP was much better at the NST and of course, still no protein in my urine.  They did the blood draw but it takes AN HOUR for the results to come back and I couldn't leave until they got the results, told my Dr and then got her blessing for me to leave.  All checked out fine and I was headed home an hour and a half after arriving.  Whew - a long morning at Labor & Delivery!  But I'm thankful for all the checks and feeling comforted that everything is okay.
Final Thoughts: I guess I do still look small in my belly.  This past week, an older woman waiting in line behind me at the store remarked how great I looked and how she “certainly didn’t look like that when” she was pregnant!  She asked me how much longer I had and when I told her about 1-2 weeks I thought her jaw was going to come unhinged.  Then a friend who stopped by remarked that I look about 6 months pregnant to her (granted, she had twins) and the L&D nurse at my NST on Tuesday also remarked that "your baby looks good sized - you're not very big."  But you know what?  Even in pregnancy - if someone wants to tell me I look small - I WILL TAKE IT!  Especially knowing full well that our Baby is a good and healthy size.  I just hope that it means I will get back into shape all that much sooner.

Week 37

Happy 2015!!  And...WE ARE FULL TERM!!!  Now I suppose I should use caution when saying that: "full term" is something of a floating date and also does depend on your specific baby.  Overall, babies born after 37 weeks have shown to do quite well and are not considered premature.  Lungs are usually developed and they have enough fat to keep warm.  An OB would likely not try to stop labor for women who have completed 37 weeks.  So most doctors, books, apps and websites will concur that 37 weeks is considered full term.  But I have been reading that really at the end of the day, the healthiest babies who do the best overall are those born around 39-40 weeks.  And then the number drops again.  Babies don't do quite as well if they arrive after 40 weeks due to an aging placenta.  But 37 weeks is still a huge goal for us.  Our baby is ready for launch!!  (I saw that on a Lilypie ticker and it made me smile).

Ready for launch!!

How far along: 37 weeks, 2 days
What did baby do this week: Baby is the size of a winter melon with a pretty wide range in weight and length: anywhere from 6.5-9 pounds and 19-20 inches head to toe.  As we know, babies greatly vary in size at birth so it's harder and harder to know "roughly" how large Baby is.  But I'm guessing ours is around 7 pounds if not a bit larger (since last Monday was 6lbs 11oz).  Since Baby is full term, everything is now developed.  Lungs and brain and fat stores should all be in great shape.  Really they're just hanging out in there now, feeling comfortable and warm.
Total weight gain: 31.2 pounds - and there we have it: broke through the 30 pound mark.  I'm comforted knowing some of it is the water/swelling I have going on though.
Symptoms:  I've had this weird jaw pain the last few weeks.  I can't bite down too hard on the left side of my mouth or it will hurt.  I don't know if this has to do with the relaxing of everything that happens near the end of pregnancy or what, but I especially notice it at night.  Maybe I irritate it more when I sleep on my left side.  Or perhaps I grind my teeth, which makes it hurt more.  But I'm hoping it will go away after I deliver.  I'm seeing more swelling in my hands and feet and like I've mentioned - the carpal tunnel in my hands is quite annoying.  I definitely feel like I’m slowing down - but at least don’t feel super uncomfortable.  Well, unless I eat too much - then it can be hard to breathe, but if I stick to smaller meals I'm perfectly comfortable in my midsection.  I've had a lot more discharge than usual, the last couple weeks - and I started wearing liners daily maybe a month ago.  *sigh* This is all very normal though.
Queasy or Sick:  Occasionally but it passes quickly - usually I just need to eat something in the morning.
Sleep:  Pretty good early in the week, but my left hand has now been bothering me more and more at night - I think I need to buy a left handed brace too.  Argh!!
Best moment this week:  This week overall has just been nice.  The week between Christmas and New Years is always my favorite week of the year anyway.  I love spending time with family, listening to Christmas music, seeing the Christmas decorations around town and eating all sorts of bad stuff (tho I promise I'm not going crazy and my blood sugar readings are still looking good!)  It's crazy to think how different life is going to be in just a couple weeks here, but I'm enjoying what's going on right now.  And I'm proud to say that I've even been cooking dinners for Hubby - I'm slower, and it's hard to do some things (wash dishes, even chop ingredients) due to the carpal tunnel and my huge belly, but I'm getting some good food on the table.  Go me and my 9 month pregnant self!

Hardest part of the week:  Really no major complaints.
Looking forward to:  Getting a few more things done around here before we meet our Little One.
Movement:  So much - but it's those rolling/shifting movements now.  The jabs are far less frequent.
Food cravings:  I continue to crave chocolate overall which is very odd for me.  I'm one of those rare ladies who does not love chocolate.  I don't dislike it - but I'm not fanatical like so many are.  But I really would love to eat some brownies or a slice of rich chocolate cake right about now.
Happy or moody:  Happy and still so oddly relaxed.
Labor signs: No
Belly button in or out:  Still in.  Quite small, but in.
Wedding rings on or off:  On, but I think I'm about done wearing them - especially my engagement ring.  It gets very tight sometimes and makes me worried that I might not be able to get it off at some point.
Stretch marks:  Those same 2 areas under my belly.  They don't look TOO bad, but I think they may get a little worse before all is said and done.
Learnings from the week: Since I'm at Labor & Delivery twice a week for my non-stress tests, I get a lot of time with the L&D nurses and exposure to that section of the hospital.  It's really great actually!  I've been able to ask so many questions and really feel like I'll be as prepared as possible for the day we arrive to have our baby.  I thought I'd share a few little learnings I've taken away (at least from our hospital) over the past few weeks:  You don’t need clothes for baby other than a going home outfit.  They are swaddled for the most part and the hospital has everything you could need for them (diapers, hats, blankets, etc.)  If you're in a suite where your Hubby/partner can stay with you at night you may want to have them bring additional warm clothing layers.  It seems most new moms run a little warm so they keep the rooms cool.  Please ask your Hubby to not treat the hospital room like a hotel room.  One nurse told me she's shocked at how many husbands sit around the room (or even walk in the hallways!) in their boxers or PJs.  And they'll put their finished hospital food tray outside the door.  There is no room service and the nurses really don't want to see these dudes walking around half naked!

None of this, daddies...at least not at the hospital.

Final Thoughts: Sometime in the last month+ my reading shifted from pregnancy books to newborn care books.  And OMG thank goodness I have because there is SO MUCH MORE TO KNOW about babies than there is to know about pregnancy! (no duh, right?)  My favorite so far is this one (be sure if you are reading this long after I’ve written it - to get the most recent edition.  They update the books frequently - which is also great.)  It’s from the same people as the Baby Bargains book I was pushing so much during my baby gear and registry research.  It’s full of great info and written in a totally fun (not dry) way that makes it very easy to read.  We're also reading this book.  I forget who recommended it to me, but it's a little less fun than the Baby 411 one, however still good info.  The third book I'm trying to rotate into my own personal reading club is this one.  I feel very strongly about wanting to breastfeed so any additional information I can get is good.