Remember me?

Hi there! Remember me?

Hey there, friends!!

I'm the one who blogged non-stop for like...ever. And then I had a baby and EVERYTHING changed. It's so unfair in a way.  INFERTILITY. You wish so hard for so long (and no - Hubby and I really didn't wish all that hard for all that long.  I am VERY AWARE that we were some of the lucky ones on this infertility journey) and then you finally have your baby and it's blissful...for a few minutes. Then you realize: I HAVE A BABY?!!!  I'm RESPONSIBLE for this mini person 100%?!! And they cry?! And they nurse ALL THE TIME?! And...my nipples!! And...my lady parts!!!!.....

And I will be the first to admit that I definitely had some postpartum depression (yes, are you KIDDING ME?! What kind of cruelness that this huge shift in my life is causing me a type of depression; however it's something I'd wanted so badly for so long?!) 

And you have ZERO time for anything. All you do is care for your baby and I have no idea what I was doing when kiddo was sleeping - attempting to sleep (that was difficult) or taking a 2 minute shower, or shoving food in my mouth, or trying to find X, Y or Z that I hadn't seen in days and needed badly. It took all of my energy, planning and forethought to even get that last blog post written and it was a WEAK post. Those early days were rough.

It's quite honestly - brutal

But as hard as having a newborn was, the hours do fly by. And then the days. And then weeks and months and before you know it, you have a laughing, talking, smiley-faced, cheerful 1.5 year-old toddler blowing kisses, giving hugs and saying things like "wuv you Mama" and you decide you're gonna sign up to do it ALL over again!  *sigh*

I read something recently that said having a second child is like this: "imagine you're drowning in the ocean. And then someone hands you a baby."

I can only imagine. And yet here we go!

The wonderful, amazing reality of banking frozen embryos is that I DON'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH ANOTHER RETRIEVAL (and really honestly, those horrible days post-retrieval when you're waiting with bated breath for the reports on embryo/blastocyst development and genetic testing.) We still have 3 frozen embryos that are no older than the day we froze them - almost 2.5 years ago! This gives me such a sense of security that we will get our sibling for our little one and who knows? Maybe even more (but not going there yet!!!)

Siblings! They're with you through your entire life...

So I recently reached out to Dr. A again and let her know we were getting ready to go for another kid! We picked a transfer date of August 26th (a date that has special meaning to us and also puts our kiddos a good "almost 2.5 years apart" which I think is a great age difference.) Working backwards this means she'll want me to let her know when my next period starts and we'll kick things off then. The last time we chose our transfer date, I guess it was close enough to my natural cycle that I did not need to take birth control pills, but this time she'll have me start birth control pills the day after my next period starts (around mid-July) so that my body is ready for transfer on the date we picked. I'm ever so slightly concerned about developing a cyst since the very first time we were preparing for stimulation and retrieval she put me on BCPs and we had to postpone my stim due to a cyst developing (which can be caused by BCPs). But we'll be doing a water ultrasound, to check that everything looks good, a couple weeks into the pills so if anything appears, we'll deal with it then - and I can still keep my special transfer date. Wish me luck!

So that's what's up and that's what we're planning! I CAN'T believe I'm about to do this again. It's all so different approaching a transfer now that I'm already a mommy. I still can't believe we're signing up to take on responsibility for yet ANOTHER mini-human. But we're intelligent, capable adults so I'm quite confident we'll all make it out alive and relatively happy.

Here we go again!!